Beating the meat

As mentioned in my last post, at the weekend I had an experience which made me reflect on my behaviour and consider a potential change.

The experience was that of speaking to a stranger who thought the stuffed octopus on my shoulder was a reference to plans to create the world's first octopus farm, breeding and growing 🐙 for food.

Much like a 20p coin accidentally left in a jeans pocket on laundry day, this thought started moving around in my head quite slowly, before clattering around in a way which was hard to ignore. While octopi might be more intelligent than cows, pigs, chickens, and all the other animals I've enjoyed eating throughout my life - is that difference something that makes me feel those other animals are okay to have bred (often forcibly), raised (often in crappy conditions), and killed for my lunch?

I want to be clear - I'm writing this as part of my own reflective process. I'm not judging anyone here, and know that being able to make these sorts of choices is much easier when you have the time and privilege I do.

Eating meat is something I've always done - at times, especially within my family, I've had a particular reputation for my appetite for it. I remember Primary School Dom talking to my grandad about a potential business venture which pretty much amounted to microwaving and selling bacon on the high street - a shame the Dragons never heard of that.

Yes - I've always been drawn to, and enjoyed, eating meat. Even in recent years where I've realised I need to do what I think is right, I've muffled the voice in me which says I need to stop. Talking about it with my counsellor two years ago, he remarked that the way I talk about this appetite for it was almost like an addiction - I knew it was irrational, I struggled to control it, and I was ashamed, hiding the extent of it from some of the most important people in my life.

As I let the part of me which cares play I bigger part in my actions in recent years, this dissonance only increased. I was giddily trying all of the plant based meat substitutes (many of which are awesome) but still eating actual meat more than I knew I wanted to, whether that was 'letting myself eat nice meat when I'm out', 'letting myself eat the yellow sticker meat (because who else will)', or scoffing a pepperami on my walk to work like a little pork goblin.

There are all sorts of reasons not to eat meat which resonate with me - the cruelty involved, the environmental harms (58% of all mammal biomass on earth is now livestock, only 6% of the combined weight of mammals on Earth is wild - source), and on quite a fundamental level, how much I love animals. I recently rewatched the film Okja - it's a beautiful film, and got some cogs whirring about if or why I felt meat consumption was okay.

Anyway - the octopus interaction has led to a gear shift. I don't want to be part of eating animals any more, and I'm going to actively work to stop. I've decided on a few guiding principles in my head, just so I can deal with situations which arise, which are:

• Whenever I have a choice, choosing not to eat meat or fish There are a couple of caveats here, but better than those I was using before - if meat has been prepared for me to eat in forgetfulness or ignorance, I might eat it if it's otherwise going in the bin. And I won't accept nonsense from those who continue to forget, or disrespect how I'm trying to live.

• For now, I'm aiming for vegetarian In principle, I'd like to be vegan (main exception is if my dream of rehoming battery hens and having their 🥚s comes true). But that is harder, and I've learned before that I'm most capable of change in phases. So yes, non-vegan beer will slip through, and I'll enjoy parmesan occasionally (I know). But hopefully my tastes (and the availability of good substitutes) will continue shifting in a helpful direction.

• I'm not going to beat myself up for mistakes My counsellor and my partner have done a great job helping me realise I'm very 'all or nothing' in my thinking. I'm confident that if I'd tried this 5 years ago, I'd make a single mistake and give up completely. I'm not aiming for perfection, just a version of things I'm more comfortable with.

It'll be interesting to see how this goes - I've already had some challenging moments this week gazing wistfully at bacon rolls in bakeries and so on. But I've made a lot of strides in the last five years anyway (living in a houseshare full of vegans for a couple of years was a good starting point). Maybe the best way to think about this isn't about it being a new effort - it's just an important step in an ongoing one.