The Big One - reflections

Having spent a few days at The Big One, I've decided to write down some reflections about it. I don't expect anyone to read all of this, but thought that the act of writing it down would be useful for me and that some curious sorts might be interested in reading my reflections. This was written on the coach back from London, so apologies for any inaccuracies/errors!

Some context

I've been interested in getting more involved in climate stuff for a while now - until recently, I kept talking myself out of it with a number of excuses, including my own mental wellbeing and my worries about maintaining a clean DBS (criminal record check). Along came The Big One - described by XR as a "four day action from the 21st to the 24th April 2023, where people from all groups and movements, not just XR, will gather throughout Westminster and at the Houses of Parliament".

In some ways, my bluff had been called - here was an explicitly tame and accessible protest, where the focus was on positive conversations between different groups, and my previous excuses didn't really work anymore. At the same time, I've reached a point where I don't feel comfortable sitting back anymore (I did a twitter trying to articulate this last week, here). As such, I committed to going.

Another bit of context is that my partner, Abi, was going. She's a brave, kind, and generally fab person, and is involved with Scientists for Extinction Rebellion - a group of scientists (from all sorts of disciplines) who help to unpick and communicate the science about climate change and civil disobedience. She's been a great help to me as I've slowly gone about my journey into caring about all of this - never asking me to do or say anything, but giving me time to make my own way and form my own understanding of things. And, relevant to that last point, it was very important to me that while I might run into Abi, I travelled, boarded, and engaged with things by myself for my first action.

What happened

In terms of what I did, I joined for a few hours on Friday - helping some groups set up some gazebos just across the road from parliament (putting my GoodGym experience to good use here!), exploring different stalls and groups, and familiarising myself with what was going on. I felt a bit reassured seeing that the tone was as relaxed and open as it was, and eventually headed off to meet some former colleagues.

On the Saturday, I did a bit more of bumbling about, but I also got into the spirit of the biodiversity theme for the day. I popped some creatures on my poncho and had an explore in the morning - not expecting that my get up would have tourists and activists asking me if they could take my photo all day.

Eventually it was time for the big biodiversity march - this was really something. In a running race, I've found in recent years the start can be quite emotional - chatter in the crowd, loud bass-y music somewhere in the distance, and everyone thinking about their goal, whether it's a PB or just finishing. The energy at the march was similar, but greater and deeper - there were so many groups there, each with their own focuses, but bound together by concern about threats to biodiversity. I've seen numbers from 30,000 to much much higher for the march, but it felt like the most powerful thing I've ever been a part of and made me feel a tad emotional - but with positive emotions like hope and a sense of community. Making our voices heard, followed up by a powerful die-in, was incredibly cathartic.

On Sunday (my last day before I had to leave), I made a fleeting visit to Parliament Square on my way to lunch - I was feeling a bit under the weather, but was keen to see the space where The Big One and London Marathon coexisted. It was really nice to see the marathon going well, and Big One attendees and runners/supporters showing an interest and a genuine investment in what each other were doing.

What I learned

Speaking to different people at different stalls, I learned a lot about the many ways in which nature is under attack. I'm often reluctant to speak up for a cause until I can articulate it in a way which feels genuine to me, and have often felt I shouldn't talk climate because I don't have all the answers. With time, and the help of tools like the book 'A Gift For Conversation', I've made progress. My new way of talking about this all is by stopping to acknowledge that climate change is so big in terms of scale and complexity, that it's impossible to have all the answers... but that we can all (at an individual but also organisational/national) level do the best we can to move things in a better direction.

While it could have been disheartening hearing about all of the harms happening, it was great to see so many people doing what they can to challenge these harms and those committing them. It was interesting to listen to proponents of Citizens' Assemblies talk about how these could be used to support fairer and more just decision making. Again, I don't want to fall into the easy trap of 'these are great people doing great things, I'll let them get on with it' - I've a greater sense of how and where I might get involved with things in future.

I found it interesting, the broad spectrum of different groups who were there - I'm sure there are points of friction between some of these groups sometimes, but this weekend there was a focus on collaboration. A focus on 'well we might disagree on X and Y, but we can all agree there's an urgent need for Z to be tackled'. Someone even brought my attention to a GB News clip of Laurence Fox having a nuanced chat with an XR spokesperson in which both acknowledged where they disagreed, but parked that and had an important conversation touching on climate anxiety. All of this a useful reminder that while challenging other points of view (and our own) is important, it can sometimes be just as productive to think about where our goals and needs align.

What next

When I was walking around on Saturday, my octopus drew more attention than my owl (a sentence I never expected to type). I had picked these because I'm aware both are threatened by different things, and the local charity shops had nice examples of each available. Several people assumed the octopus was a reference to the prospect of octopus farms.

This is a reference to plans for the world's first octopus farm in the Canary Islands. As someone who has a soft spot for animal videos, I've an idea of how smart octopi are, able to enjoy things like play. Being reminded of these plans, I was prompted to think: the idea of these creatures being farmed to be killed and turned into food is quite distressing - but other meat production is often just as (or much more) brutal. The thinking is very much in progress at the moment, but I think my flexitarian diet might be taking a few significant steps further in the vegetarian direction.

As fulfilling and inspiring as this weekend was, the coverage of it by the press and other media organisations was far lighter than it should have been - some interesting bits on that here - which just goes to show that a mix of approaches are needed for change to happen. Animal Rising at the Grand National, or JSO at the snooker, might be unpopular, but I expect they've sparked off more dinner table conversations than The Big One.

Other reflections are a bit gentler. One is that I am going to try and become a more regular member of my local XR group and their meetings - for so long I've carried a feeling that I'm not legitimate enough to belong in those spaces. But this weekend made me realise I've always been welcome - I just need to get out there. It felt odd being more familiar with XR scientists from across the country than I am with XR people from York, and I look forward to remedying that in the coming months.

My last reflection is about how I can align my life with these issues, while still having boundaries that allow me to rest and regenerate when I need to. While I've learned the value of just putting my feet on the ground, I'm more aware than ever of the threat the climate emergency poses to mental health and wellbeing. I'm glad I'm on my training journey with the Samaritans, but I also see that there may be space for me in the world of counselling to focus my studies on climate anxiety - a quickly growing and much needed field for counselling. I'm working on some personal statements for potential courses this week, and The Big One has definitely made a mark on how I want to live and practice in the world.